The Sex Files

For those of you living under a rock, or those who simply don’t care (myself included), Kim Kardashian and Kanye West tied the knot in what is undoubtedly the most

More Than a Little Awkward

Let’s Talk About Boobs (Part 1)

  “Ouch! You do know they don’t come off, right?” *grunt* “I love your boobs.” “You’re a 30 year old

It Snot You, It’s Me (Another Awkward Online Date)

I’ve been relatively lucky when it comes to online dating.  I’ve never been stalked, molested or deceived.  I’ve never met

CARnal Knowledge (A Case of Object Sexuality)

Object sexuality or objectum sexuality is a pronounced emotional and often romantic desire towards developing significant relationships with particular inanimate

Craigslist Gone Wrong

When I came to my sister with the latest batch of Craigslist gems, I figured we would both get a good laugh and be on our merry ways.  She didn’t react the way I had hoped… *Shaking her head* “That’s really sad, Melisa.” “But isn’t it FUNNY?!?  Come on, this guys specifically looking for a girl with herp-“ “Please stop. 

It Snot You, It’s Me (Another Awkward Online Date)

I’ve been relatively lucky when it comes to online dating.  I’ve never been stalked, molested or deceived.  I’ve never met a 63 year old grandfather trying to pass himself off as a 28 year old personal trainer or a teenager trying to get a laugh by making a date with a 30 year old woman.  For the most part, the

When Dirty Talk Goes Bad

Barry was a bobble-head.  He was tall and lean with a cranium the size of a watermelon.  Luckily for him, it was his other head that I was most interested in.  I wasn’t looking for a date to the prom.  His looks were of no concern to me.  As long as he didn’t make babies cry and had a penis,

Happy Anniversary to Me (Part Deux)

Two years to the day Was born Miss Melisa Mae. Please hold your applause And take a moment to pause. To reflect on what’s been And gotten under my skin. I’ll try to be quick But I’m a wordy ass chick. There was the dry humping Italian And the overeager Stallion. A man with one nut And men trying to