Realistic sex dolls aren’t exactly new to the market. They’ve been around for years in one form or another. And no, I’m not an expert on the subject; I just watch a lot of TV.
My first introduction to the sex doll was via HBO. They did a segment on a company that produced realistic female sex dolls. So realistic, in fact, that most men having sex with one wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between them or a drunk sorority girl. The dolls came with breasts, pubic hair, and hollowed out vaginal cavities for those wishing to fornicate with a 110 lb. condom with tits.
Not to leave the women out, this particular company was toying with the idea of a male prototype. After all, what’s good for the goose is certainly good for the gander, right? Right.
To prove the effectiveness of this new male Ken doll, this company (whose name escapes me because I lost the receipt), brought in three female porn stars to give him a go. Three orgasms later, it was concluded that Ken was just as good in the sack as any flesh and blood gent with a boner. Only I suspect Ken would be much more fulfilling because you could finally have sex with the lights on and not have to worry about sucking in your stomach.
Not long after that I saw yet another documentary on the men who carry on legitimate relationships with female sex dolls. They would dress them up and hang them from the ceiling as any good boyfriend should do. They would talk to them for hours describing their day at work, watch TV with them in the evenings, and after dark they would hoist them into bed where they would make sweet, sweet love to a block of silicone.
Yet, this isn’t the strangest thing I’ve seen or heard of in man’s attempt at sexual gratification. Human sexuality is an amazingly fascinating and complex thing and something I’m often times trying to learn more about. While I don’t see myself fucking a piece of plastic anytime soon, the idea that someone would is extremely intriguing.
So, in honor of this year’s AVN Adult Entertainment Expo in Vegas, I checked out these so-called “Real Dolls.” Creep factor aside, even I must admit that these were some fine looking dolls. Many women only dream of having the type of body men drool over and want to pound relentlessly while they themselves stay frigidly still and silent.
I had to wonder, what does it take to make a Crystal or Stacy or even a Melissa, yes Melissa (they spelled it wrong), part of your very own doll collection? A mere $5499, to start (all major credit cards accepted. Sorry, no PayPal). For just 55 hundies you too could be the proud owner of the only sexual being I’m aware of that doesn’t get headaches.
But I’m not done! Real Doll: Home of the world’s finest love doll also makes Male Real Dolls. Hallelujah! Is it my birthday? For shits and giggles I decided to build my own Real Doll. I didn’t need anything fancy. I picked Nate with Body Type A (the larger of the two options at 123 lbs.), brown hair, brown eyes, clean shaven, trimmed pubes, with a Fixed (instead of removable) “X-Large” penis. Of course. The only thing better would be if the penis had a vibrate option.
The male dolls were a little more pricey than the female dolls, running, on average, $5,999. That must be one hell of a penis to account for the extra $500 but who am I to judge? After all is said and done, let me introduce you to Nate, the sixth member of One Direction…
Bow Chica Bow Wow
Now before you rush out to go make your very own “lifelike” male version of Frodo, let me leave you with this:
The male RealDoll2 dolls are made of the same Platinum silicone as our female dolls and feature the same improved skeletons and advanced weight reduction. They also have magnet based interchangeable heads with a 7″ oral capacity.
Your male doll ships in boxer shorts and a tank top with a care kit including cologne and a cleaning kit.
Oh, the things one can do with a 7” oral capacity.
So, I have to ask, would you have sex with a doll?