Strippers At A Funeral
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Strippers At A Funeral

What’s the one thing Chinese funerals and the Spearmint Rhino have in common?

Strippers, naturally.

Western society has it all wrong. Who’s to say G-strings and pasties aren’t appropriate attire for the burial of a loved one?

While not commonplace, the idea that exotic dancers can only enhance the entire funeral going experience has been gaining in popularity. The rationale being that the more extravagant and elaborate this celebration of life, the more people will attend. The more people who attend, the better the dead guy must have been. Following this logic, if you want more friends, hire strippers.

I’m all for spicing up what can be an otherwise dreary and depressing event. Why focus on the loss of a loved one when you can make it rain at Forest Lawn? Teaching our children the benefits of breaking a hundred is a lost art.

My only real gripe with the whole situation is the lack of consideration for the women involved. Why are there no male exotic dance troupes getting nekked atop a party bus? Seems a little sexist, if you ask me. As women, we need to fight for what’s fair and equal. We must stand up and proclaim to anyone who will listen that it’s our right to have Magic Mike at our gravesite.

Now before you get too excited and go booking your flight to the People’s Republic of China with a wad of dollar bills you should know that the Ministry of Culture has been cracking down on the practice of stripping for dead people. Something about the “corruption of social morals and manners” or some such nonsense.

I, for one, don’t want to live in a world where we can’t reenact Showgirls at the interment of a loved one.

Video courtesy of NatGeo Taboo

Featured image courtesy of CNN

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