When I came to my sister with the latest batch of Craigslist gems, I figured we would both get a good laugh and be on our merry ways. She didn’t react the way I had hoped…
*Shaking her head* “That’s really sad, Melisa.”
“But isn’t it FUNNY?!? Come on, this guys specifically looking for a girl with [...]
Breathe & Relax
Stats: 40 years old, 5’8”, athletic, Caucasian with mixed hair color, non smoking, non religious Capricorn. Not single/not looking. I repeat NOT single/NOT looking.
Profession: Something fun.
Seeking: A woman to “hang out” with. Also noted: RSLA isn’t seeking a relation or any kind of commitment.
About Me: Life has many surprises. I just need [...]
In this day and age there is absolutely no reason not to have a picture posted on your dating profile. Online dating no longer holds the social stigma it used to and according to Match.com 98% of the 148% of all people who look to the internet to find love do, in fact, find love. [...]
Yesterday, the stars aligned, the skies parted and every dumbass with a pulse came out of the woodworks to accost me with their bullshit.
Red Carvett
“What’s up babe?I weill be stright up with you.You are sexy as hell to me.And I mean no disrespect at all babe.Can I taste that little red carvett of yours?”
About me: [...]
There are three things that will guarantee a response from me. One, if you are hot (The Fireman). Two, if you amuse me (Willy Wonka). And three, if you piss me off. Yesterday, I was pissed off.
To make the long story short, I was first sent an email from Mr. Damn Obnoxious Uber Cocky Harassing [...]
Every so often I read a profile that absolutely deserves to be memorialized by Yours Truly. Butt Pirate had just such a profile.
ONLY IF YOU LOVE BACKDOOR ACTION
Are you a woman who just orgasms super hard when your loved in the booty? Are you afraid to tell anyone or just simply can’t find a partner [...]
1. I can, in fact, type quite well while intoxicated.
2. Just because you think jerking off on your webcam to be a romantic gesture, I myself do not.
3. There is no quicker way to kill a man’s premature dirty talk than mentioning your period. Trust me when I tell you I detest your [...]
A few men I dated for a brief period of time and a few men just turned into platonic relationships. “Shithead” was the exception and the closest I ever came to actually having a relationship with somebody I met off of the internet.
As usual, we followed the basic protocol of emailing, phone conversations and then [...]
Here are a few more entertaining responses to my online dating profile. I also received a plethora of trouser snake pictures. As if in some way, I might be so impressed as to drop what I was doing in order to ride the bologna pony. Truth be told, I actually consider sending me nothing but [...]
Due to an overwhelming response from all of my blogger fan (yes, singular. Anonymous, you know who you are) I have decided to post some of the more entertaining responses to my REAListic online dating profile. Enjoy!
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Him: …I never thought honesty could be so refreshing, well here’s a little about me:I am a dynamic figure, [...]
