Looking For Love on Uber
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Looking For Love on Uber

I’d never tried Uber before but I’d just given notice at work then received this text from my best friend:

Looking forward to seeing you tonight…I got Jack Daniel’s Fire, Fireball, a flask of Jack Daniel’s Old #7 & some Kahlua. Oh, and I have two different types of weed since you’re a pothead now 😉

This is why I love her.

As we’ve gotten older, our out of control, drunken all-nighters have slowly morphed into us having a few drinks, sitting on the couch watching Amy Schumer and dozing off by 10pm. But not this time. This time we vowed to stay up till at least 11pm. It was, after all, a Friday night.

Not wanting to drink and drive, yet not wanting to stay the night at my friend’s house, I thought, “Hey, why not try Uber?!” And so it was decided.

My girlfriend picked me up, as I only live a few miles away, and I’d use my free first ride Promo with Uber for the ride home. Convenient and cheap and my dear kitty wouldn’t have to spend the night alone wondering when her mommy was coming home. Without me there, who else would she willfully ignore all night then use as a scratching post at 5am?

The Jack Daniels did not disappoint and about 1:30am I was ready to be chauffeured to my humble abode. Had I really given it some thought, I would have realized although I technically live in Los Angeles, I sort of live in the sticks. Like, my neighbor is a horse, sticks. I also don’t get reception where my friends live so using the Uber app was out of the question.

So, off my friend and I went, in the middle of the night down a deserted road so I could get at least one bar. Two women, deserted road, middle of the night. Proof that no idea is a bad idea when you’ve been shooting anything 90 proof.

It took a few tries but finally someone responded and I got 14 messages from Uber letting me know my driver was 11 minutes away. Cool. One minute later, my ride was cancelled and we were left standing on the side of the road waiting for someone, anyone, to answer my request. I began to worry.

A few minutes later, my prayers were answered and I was notified that my driver, Vince, was again 11 minutes away. Because of my location, Vince had to call me to find out exactly where I was.

“Go up the hill and I’m standing on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere.”

Sounds legit, right?

Vince found me because basically I was standing on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. My friend and I jumped in, we drove back up the road to drop her off and Vince and I took off in his ’97 Isuzu Rodeo.

I talked, he laughed, I talked, and he laughed some more. And being curious about how much Uber drivers really make, I turned our conversation into an interview. I wish I could tell you what I learned from my extensive interview with Vince but I honestly don’t remember. What I do remember is him telling me what beautiful eyes I had and asking if I had a boyfriend. Vince was a professional.

As we pulled up to my place, I got the bright idea that since Vince thought I was pretty, he’d probably be down to taking a small detour around the block to the only liquor store in my area that just happened to be open till 2am. He was. Again, no bad ideas after a night of drinking.

While Vince waited outside in his car, I put down my bottle of Jack on the counter at 2:02am. The guy behind the counter eyeballed the clock then eyeballed me. Five minutes later, I was sitting back in Vince’s Isuzu with my bottle of Jack and a date with a 57 year old Indian guy the following Monday. I’m really going to miss that liquor store.

Back at my place, I invited Vince in for a drink.

“But don’t get any crazy ideas. I’m not going to sleep with you.”

Vince was sweet and as we shared our life stories and got to know each other, I had to agree that Uber was pretty much the coolest thing ever. As Vince was leaving, he kissed me goodnight and whispered, “Those eyes…” He asked if he could take me out sometime and then he was off.

I don’t really see myself going out with Vince again, unless I need a ride, but the next time I’m feeling lonely, instead of logging onto Plenty of Fish or OkCupid, I may just pull up the Uber app and go for a ride.

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