20 Paraphilias You Have Probably Never Heard Of
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20 Paraphilias You Have Probably Never Heard Of

Paraphilia [par-uhfil-ee-uh] noun – a condition characterized by abnormal sexual desires, typically involving extreme or dangerous activities.

Of course, that is an extremely oversimplified definition of something incredibly complex. We’ve all heard of the usual suspects: autoerotic asphyxiation, exhibitionism, foot fetishism, voyeurism…but have you heard of toxophilia? Read on and maybe learn a thing or two. You’ll thank me when the topic of arousal from archery comes up during Sunday night dinner with the fam.

Abasiophilia – People with impaired mobility. In other words, some folks are turned on by people who can’t run away.

Agalmatophilia – Statues, mannequins and immobility. Ever see the movie Mannequin? It was about a man who fell in love with a mannequin. At the time, the movie seemed romantic and endearing. Now, almost 30 years later, it just seems creepy.

Anililagnia – Attraction by young men to older women. Apparently, Cougar isn’t just a term, it’s a disorder.

Anthropophagy – Deriving pleasure from ingesting human flesh. Gives a whole new meaning to the term “eating someone out.”

Autoplushophilia – The image of one’s self in the form of a plush or anthropomorphized animal. I saw this movie once; it was called Werewolf in London.

Autovampirism – The image of one’s self in the form of a vampire. Involves ingesting or seeing one’s own blood. I wouldn’t mind being a vampire but mainly because it would stop the aging process.

Chremastistophilia – Being robbed or held up. Common gathering places include gas stations, 7-11s, and banks.

Coprophilia – Feces; also known as scat, scatophilia or fecophilia. The shit some people are into.

Emetophilia – vomit. For the man who gets a hard on every time a woman tells him he makes her sick.

Feederism – Erotic eating, feeding, and weight gain. I saw a women interviewed once who was paid to eat. She had a webcam set up in her house and men would pay just watch her stuff her face with hamburgers and French fries. How do I apply for that job?

Formicophilia – Being crawled on by bugs. Judging by some of the men I’ve dated, one might consider me to have a formicophilia.

Forniphilia – Turning a human being into a piece of furniture. My cat has forniphilia.

Liquidophilia – Immersing genitals in liquids. If a guy dips his dick in chocolate, does that count? Cause I’d totally buy that.

Mechanophilia – Cars or other machines; also “mechaphilia.” I think my dad has mechanophilia. That would certainly explain why he got along better with his car than my mother.

Menophilia – Menstruation. Uhm, yuck.

Navel fetishism – Sexual attraction to navels – either their own or someone else’s. Anyone care for a fuzzy navel?

Objectophilia – pronounced emotional desire towards specific inanimate objects. The BBC did a documentary on this disorder (which primarily affects women). One woman even married the Eiffel Tower. That cheating bastard. The tower, not the woman. Although, from what I understand, she did have a long term relationship with the Berlin Wall at the time. I wonder if she told Eiffel.

Oculolinctus – Licking the eyeballs. I get complimented on my eyes a lot, however, I’d probably draw the line at some guy licking them. Probably.

Sophophilia – Sexual arousal from learning. That’s like the best of both worlds! I only wish I could have sophophilia. It would certainly make going back to college in my 30s that much more enjoyable.

Vorarephilia – The idea of eating or being eaten by others; usually swallowed whole, in one piece. Fantasies include swimming with sharks and going to Jurassic Park.

I could go on and on but I have Datelineandbedtimeaphilia.

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