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Bitter much?

I received an email the other day from this gentleman (I use the term loosely) and just had to share it. By the end of the very first sentence you’ll know why. You will probably also know why he is still single…

“O.K all for the new year I’m making it a point to not accept anything less than what I desrve,That being said there is no polite way to say no fat chicks so I’ll just say it:)I have been on many dates from these sites with women that post great pics and when they show up they are 50 to 100 pounds overwieght which they hide well in pics and write about how they keep in shape???Then think we are to dumb to notice.So please if you are not in shape within reason do not contact me( Sorry attraction is not a choice)It has been almost a year since I’ve had a sexual encounters ( Mostly by choice)And if it’s another year before I find a LADY worth my affections so be it:) I’m not, I repeat NOT looking to just hook up.I do however look forward to the day I finally find a woman that has what it takes to be my girl:)But the longer it goes the more frustrating it becomes when I meet the bad types:(I am swiftly losing interest in this whole on line dating thing.I’m going to give this site till the end of Jan. then close the account:(WOW how hard is it to find ONE great gal???No pressure girls:)

So here is the rest about me:

I read every profile I find interesting before I contact a woman(Not just the pics:)
It is a numbers game I contact a very few and even fewer get back to me yet I don’t take it personally this is getting a bit old:(
I’m very affectionate and love a cuddly woman:)VERY hard to find the right one:(
I am seeking a long term relationship:)( But not in a rush to find it
I’m a hopless romantic seeking the same:)
I love to cook and told I do it well:)
I’m very kind hearted looking for the same in a LADY:)
I’m very affectionate(with the right woman)Love to cuddle.OH I mentioned that:)
I enjoy doing sweet things for a LADY I care about:)
I’m seeking a LADY that will do the sweet things too:)
I do not sweat the small things,seeking the same:)PLEASE no more drama queens
I’m a manly man looking for a LADY girly girl:)
I do stand up comedy seeking a #1 fan:) as I will be hers:)

A little about you:

Attractive both inside and out:)
PLEASE no more fat chicks!! I know it pisses some off but it’s just rediculous
A hopeless romantic:)
Not into DRAMA:)Can’t stress that enough:)
Take care of youself,physically and emotionally:)
PLEASE no more big drinkers( Not for me to hang out with drunks:)
Not a vegitarian,I enjoy meat and won’t change that.
A girly girl,Please no more tom boys.
Please you must own as many dresses as you do jeans:)
If you are sexually repressed or have excess baggage,no need to apply:)
Please no more mommies with young kids:( I enjoy life without the screaming kids:)It is amazing what people let thier kids get away with these days:(If you ever see my stand up comedy act you’ll see how I’ve turned all this negative into a great and funny set:)If nothing else I’m getting alot of great material for my act:)

In the interest of finding that one special LADY I put all this here in hopes of weeding out the types that are not for me.I enjoy that feeling you get when you have found a person that just makes your heart beat swiftly when you see each other,I have an affinaty for picinics,and romantic walks on the beach,cooking a great meal for a gal and having her enjoy it along with candle lite:)And just talking for hours and enjoying it:)I’m just looking for a LADY that is worth my affections:)

Are there any more romantic sweet girly girls left in the world??? are you her???Well if you think so you may contact me now…

All others I bid you well in your search and good luck fishing:)

Wow! Just Wow!

Who knew that comedian was actually spelled A-S-S-H-O-L-E?

“Funnyguy” emailed me saying he thought I was funny and charming. After reading through his profile I can say without a doubt that the feeling is clearly one sided.

Maybe if right out of the gate he didn’t actually write “no fat chicks” I might have been able to overlook his preoccupation with “girly girls”. I might have even been able to overlook his ridiculous holier than thou attitude about a woman being good enough and “having what it takes” to be his girl.

I’d also like to point something out here. Funnyguy is no George Clooney or Brad Pitt. He’s more like their second cousin, twice removed on the side of the family that still thinks Suburban bench seats are more than acceptable to use as porch furniture.

He does however have this to say…

“If you ever see my stand up comedy act you’ll see how I’ve turned all this negative into a great and funny set:)”

It would have been nice if he could have put some of that so called humor into his profile. Instead, he just came across to me as a bitter, egotistical douchebag with gender role issues afraid of anything larger than a size four. And if I’ve learned one thing about human nature, it’s usually he who doth protest too much that is truly hiding something.

And did he really just write…”I have an affinaty for picinics,and romantic walks on the beach,cooking a great meal for a gal and having her enjoy it along with candle lite:)”? This guy can’t be for real. I would have hoped him being in Stand up and all that he would have been able to list something a little more original that the long walk on the beach bullshit.

And just for the record, I can’t think of a single “manly man” (as he puts it) that uses so many damn smily faces!

I wish him luck in finding his robot.

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7 Comments

  1. Maruska Morena
    January 25, 22:54 Reply
    HOLY FREAKING COW!!!! What a douchebag. Where did you find this guy again?
  2. Brown-Eyed Girl
    January 25, 23:25 Reply
    I bet if a woman wrote this and he was reading it he'd have a ton of opinions on it.<br /><br />Some people just can't seem to find a mirror.<br /><br />aka vixterl on Twitter
  3. JupaMan
    January 26, 06:26 Reply
    ummm I don't think I see anything wrong with this awesome prince charming. LOL. god I hope you can detect the sarcasm!!!! <br />let me just say this..... has he ever heard of a spell checker? no, that would be too much to ask cause you know, skinny people don't use the spell checker, only fat people. LOL... HAHAHAHAHA<br />fuck that looser.
  4. girltrueheart
    January 26, 11:13 Reply
    I know where he can find the perfect girly girl. They still have mail order brides from euro-asia countries. She'll probably be so thin he can twirl her like a mike stand. Yeah, good luck buddy.
  5. Singlemom75
    June 09, 00:18 Reply
    Dude. Just dude. SO glad I'm not dating right now.
  6. Elizabeth
    May 29, 19:38 Reply
    Oh boy! I had one of those ... a lawyer. Only problem is: he was much more succinct in writing and far more like this in person. Awkward! So freakishly freakish, it put me off men for quite a while - literally! (My condolences, btw) <span class="cluv">Elizabeth recently posted..<a class="ec3b90f1e5 16264" rel="nofollow" href="http://thereveriesofelizabeth.blogspot.com/2013/05/make-love-not-war.html">Make love, not war</a></span>
  7. James
    September 22, 22:03 Reply
    Smiley faces LOL. My take on smiley faces is that the person is actually the opposite of smiling when they use them. DEAD GIVEAWAY

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