Dating for dollars?

I’ve heard of dating for dinner but dating for dollars? Hmm, who would have thought I could turn dating into a paying career?

Meet Einstein. I call him this not because I think he’s smart but because he looks like the Jewish genius. Matted hair and a 12 lb. mustache. This 49 year old has probably been trying to get a date online since the inception of the web.

“I am a confident man well established , looking for a confident secure woman.If you are such a woman please contact me. I have worked in the entertainment industry for years as a electronic engineer doing everything from design to special effects to show supervision.I like hiking,fishing,going to the movies and searching out out of the way restruants.”

He states that he’s an Engineer with some college. Although, by the looks of his eloquently written profile I think he may be lying. Nobody is going to accuse this guy of being overly intelligent.

This is what I received from Einstein last night:

“HiI am going to get to the point.I need a pretty lady to accompany me to a party I was invited to at my bosses house this Saturday August 29, I need her to be with me between approx. 3pm until 12PM or 1AM or maybe a little later.No money business, all I ask is she hang with me and not hit on any other guys while we are there, just show that she is with me.I am willing to pay for this service. If you are interested email me back with a price.Thanks again. Einstein”

So, I’m confused, is he offering to pay me or not? He states “No money business” but then says he’s “willing to pay for this service.” Again, he’s probably not about to win any IQ contests.

Einstein has written me before. I’d say three times in the last six months. Each time I’m unable to stop laughing at his pictures long enough to respond. I probably should have shot him back a simple “thanks but no thanks” after the third time but anyone who has read my feelings on the topic of responding knows why I didn’t. Apparently, since he couldn’t get my attention before, he’s now trying to bribe me. But now, in addition to him just being persistent he’s now creepy.

We’ll see how our date goes…

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  1. The "n" is diagonally above the "k" on the keyboard. As an editor, I often see typos like this in documents. I hazard a guess that he meant no monkey business. I JUST said to someone today, that I wished there was a LEGIT dating service to hire someone for family functions, business functions etc. that was removed from the hanky panky of the escort industry. Because sometimes, really, you just need a date not a fuck.<br /><br />Too bad he didn't have it a bit more together!
  2. [...] **He doesn’t “normally take the time to actually write an email”? Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t that the whole purpose of finding a date online? You email somebody or they email you and things go from there? Frankly, this guy just isn’t good looking enough and his profile isn’t anything special either (I think he could have done better than 2 sentences about chemistry) for women to be banging down his door with written invitations. Am I supposed to be flattered that Mr. I Don’t Make A First Move decided to break his rule by emailing me? Well, I’m not. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I also got ANOTHER email from this guy… [...]

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