I’m The Older Woman Again (Yet Another Luring Dating Profile Response)
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I’m The Older Woman Again (Yet Another Luring Dating Profile Response)

This is the second time this week I have been deemed the older woman. I guess you could say you found my trigger. I’ve been called a lot of things in my day and for the most part they are probably true. But for some reason this is really getting me worked up. I’ll even agree that I’m slightly overreacting but damn it, I just hit my 30’s!

I typically attract older men. I think older men tend to appreciate a woman with some curves more than the average male in his 20’s. Especially in LA where beauty is defined by the size of ones waist. And yes, the irony of using the term “Older Men” is not lost on me. We all know there is a double standard when it comes to aging and the sexes. Lately, I seem to be attracting puppies. I haven’t changed my profile. I have changed my pictures. Hell, I’ve barely logged on in the last week or so. I’m not sure what pheromones I’m giving out to attract such youngsters but I’m totally over it.

Meet Enrique. He’s 25, 5’8” and lives in Palmdale. Without going any further I can tell you he’s too short, too far, and too young. He’s Hispanic and bald. Under body type he’s listed as Big & Tall/BBW. Big? Yes. Tall? NO. His Profession? Professional. Well, glad we cleared that up.

BBW Enrique is looking for an Intimate Encounter. There is absolutely nothing about his pictures that scream to me “Hey, I need to go get me some lovin from this guy.” If anything, I get the strange feeling that I want to dust him in flour and throw him in the oven. Not sure where that comes from but he sort of reminds me of the Pillsbury Dough Boy only with an olive complexion.

Here’s what he had to say in his dating profile:

“I’m not very good at describing myself. I Live in Palmdale, I’m 25, I work full-time and I’m on here for the 1st time looking to see what’s out there. I’m trying to post my profile but keep getting an error message that my “description is too short.

Alright then here goes…BLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLA
BLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLA
BLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLA
BLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLA
BLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLA
BLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLA….”

Here’s the email that I received:

“I loved reading ur profile. Ur honesty is so refreshing. With that in mind I’ll give u honesty too”

Ohhhhhh, I can’t wait. I just love a man who has read my profile and can dish it out too. If there was an eye rolling emoticon it would go here. And “ur” and “u”? Really? He can’t actually write out “you’re” and “you”?

My dream girl is someone who is older than me (there it is!), a blonde with a voluptuous figure (more flattery I presume). Someone who is down to earth and loves sex as much as i do.

Fucking gross! Unless you find having sex with a Hispanic doughboy as sexy. I just know he has a tiny wiener. Seriously, the fatter the man, the smaller his pecker. It’s a proven fact. Sorry, but I prefer to have sex and not just be finger banged…oh yes, I went there.

I’m pretty much a virgin cuz i haven’t had sex in such a long time (Shocker).

I like my head shaved but u said u want someone with some hair…damn! I can grow it out for u.

What i’m trying to say is if u were to give me shot I’d take FULL advantage of it. That’s me being sincere. I grew up in North Hollywood but now live in this awful desert they call Palmdale. I knew I should have stayed in North Hollywood, where the Heck else would I ever run into a woman like YOU!. God bless the internet”

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7 Comments

  1. *hands you a shot of tequila or some dark chocolate or both* Maybe you should rethink those photos? Or maybe it is just your turn to deal with the dregs of society! Hang in there!
  2. Ben
    August 24, 15:58 Reply
    I tried online dating for a long while, nervously and rarely contacting anyone.<br /><br />Despite my shortcomings, I never messaged anyone who used "u" and "ur" in their profile. Is there a shortage anywhere but in actual text messages?<br />Even in actual sms, just send two.<br /><br />When I did contact someone, I didn't ever refer to anyone a mere 6 years older than me as "an older woman". If I ever used the term, she'd have to be old enough to actually be my mum, if not older, before that was remotely acceptable.<br />Really, I'd have to think she was some kind of cougar, before I'd consider it.<br /><br />Standard procedure is to go the other direction, surely? "No? 31? Really? You don't look a day over (younger age)!"
  3. Ash
    August 25, 03:22 Reply
    this just made me giggle. found you through doublesifted on twitter. hope you find your muscle man!
  4. Girl Friday
    August 25, 17:55 Reply
    oh girl. <br /><br />you and me? same boat..<br /><br />and sadly its sinking.
  5. Simone Grant
    August 25, 21:40 Reply
    LOL. There are so many morons like this out there. They make for good comic relief, at least. <br /><br /> I hope you're not really letting it bother you. You're fabulous. And I'm sure there are some fabulous guys out there who want to date you.
  6. MissMelisaMae
    August 26, 23:14 Reply
    Jersey - You Rock!<br /><br />Ben - You are a very wise man. Thanks!<br /><br />Ash - I hope I find my muscle man too. Hell, at this point I'm hoping to find ANY man...<br /><br />Girl Friday - I couldn't have said it any better myself. Sinking boat? Most definitely feels that way.<br /><br />Simone - Feel free to call me fabulous anytime ;)
  7. Anety
    September 14, 15:42 Reply
    <strong>Sources...</strong> [...]check below, are some totally unrelated websites to ours, however, they are most trustworthy sources that we use[...]…...

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