Now You See Him, Now You Don’t

By on December 29, 2010 online dating

Following is my very first guest post from the ever lovely, Brandi from The Serial Datist.  To put it simply, she is every woman.  Here she shares with us a situation that I’m certain just about everyone will be able to relate to.  The excitement of meeting someone new, thinking it’s a match only to be disappointed and pushed aside without even a moments notice, left only to think, “what the hell happened?”

Now You See Him, Now You Don’t

It’s been quite a while since I’ve blogged and for that I apologize. I took a short hiatus from dating. I met a few interesting people in my non-dating time, but those were, of course, the wrong type of guys for me (what else is new). If I’m not crushing on a felon or someone with kids (or both in some cases), I guess I get bored.

Recently, I got the urge to get on an old dating site again just to see if anything new and interesting might pop up. Surprisingly, something did.  At the time, I didn’t realize we had already met through one of my friends, but that is neither here nor there. He recognized me from the get-go. We chatted for a few days online and through text and here were the stats:

  1. Engineer (YAY!)
  2. Intelligent (DOUBLE YAY!)
  3. FUNNY (OMG! Does he get better? Surely not!)
  4. Responsible (Where has this man been all my life?)
  5. Southern (JACKPOT)

Men like this don’t come around very often. Nor do they stay single for long. I decided it would be best if we took this to the next level and met face to face. He suggested coffee (funny, neither of us really drinks it) and we met. The second I laid eyes on him my jaw dropped. HOLY SHIT! He’s HOT! Wait a second, no one EVER looks better in person than in their pictures! Seriously, my knees buckled. This couldn’t possibly be real.

It turned out that the coffee shop we had initially agreed to meet at was closed.  Apparently he was reading my vibes when we met so he suggested sushi. I <3 sushi! We got to the sushi place, sat down and the conversation flowed so easily that the next thing we knew, the place was closing. Neither of us wanted to end the date, so I suggested gelato at Frost. He walked me to my car, turned around and said “How about a kiss?” YES PLEASE!  I puckered up and he ever so smoothly held up a Hershey’s kiss in his hand. Wow, that was smooth. Luckily he got the response he wanted and went for a real kiss after we had a good laugh. I have to say, his comedic timing was impeccable.

We got to Frost and the night continued with amazing conversation. Throughout the night as we are learning about each other, we kept finding out things that we liked about one another and responding with a “check!” Honestly, he’d been getting checks for things I didn’t even know I liked in a guy. After some noisy people came to sit near us, we decided to walk back to a sitting area near a huge fountain and all I can say is that it was possibly the most romantic setting EVER. We continued talking for what seemed like hours when he told me to put some music on my phone. He took my hand and the phone and said “I’ll hold this. Let’s dance”.

I’m pretty sure any woman would already be head over heels at this point.  We went on a few more “non dates” and everything kept getting better until….it just stopped. He stopped making plans to hang out and said he was really busy at work and a million other things then gave me “the list”. He actually sent me a list of his current priorities. Guess who came in last.  You guessed it.  Me.

The list went as follows:

  1. Work (understandable)
  2. Gym (ok, I can see that)
  3. Friends (alrighty then…)
  4. Band (ummm….you’ve had ONE practice session)
  5. Alone time (wow. Seriously?)
  6. Me

Ouch. Really? After alone time? We literally spent a few hours together once a week and that was asking for too much?  I guess I’m just too damn clingy. So, Mr. Wonderful crashed and burned. It really shouldn’t surprise me. I think he was just running an experiment on how to do everything right to make a girl fall for you and then end it as quickly as it began. So for now, I remain single and have stopped dating (yet again) in anticipation of moving closer to home. I’ve always said, “There’s nothing like a southern man to make a woman feel good.”  Time for me to go find him.  Or let him find me.

4 Responses to: Now You See Him, Now You Don’t

  1. gravatar <cite class="fn">NikkiBNo Gravatar</cite> Reply
    February 3rd, 2011

    Ahhhh! The Ghost Man!

    Honestly, I have no idea what motivates men to pull the disappearing act like they do. OK ok, they don’t like it when we get mad or cry, so that’s why they just dropofftheface instead of having some kind of discussion. But… what the F changed so suddenly anyway???

    I guess the bottom line is you just have to accept that BS when it happens. As you did. Doesn’t make it less frustrating!
    NikkiB recently posted..Red Flags &amp World Rockin’

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  2. gravatar <cite class="fn">SoniaNo Gravatar</cite> Reply
    February 5th, 2011

    I dated man like that in my early 20’s and figured out from a real friend that he was like that, so when the girl fell head over heals for you, he ran like hell. I ended up running from him and couldn’t get rid of him for a year with him stalking me. I guess he couldn’t take someone actually running out on him. Karma is a b—-! I never looked back. Great post…
    Sonia recently posted..Do Men Really Love Bitches

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    • gravatar <cite class="fn">KayleNo Gravatar</cite> Reply
      February 11th, 2011

      Me, too!!! I’ve had two stalk after dumping them!! People ask me where I meet these folks. I don’t! They pursue me! The telltale sign, though is that even though you hadn’t given them a first thought before they start chasing you, they keep acting like you were the ones after them! One of them asked what was the thing that attracted them to me…I’d only even known him a grand total of 2 weeks & I hadn’t even thought of him in that way until I realized he was making moves. I had to make something up. Here’s the joke: when I turned the question around, just to be polite –seriously, we were still in the “making conversation” stage– he said “you looked like you wouldn’t take any bs.” The definition of why I dumped him was that he was pulling bs!!! Too bad I was silly enough to think it would *end* after that.

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  3. gravatar <cite class="fn">KayleNo Gravatar</cite> Reply
    February 11th, 2011

    I’m pretty sure it’s abandonment issues. That’s the only way you get Mr. Poof! and Mr. Stalker to coincide.

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