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West Side Story

I’m a horrible person and I’m going to hell. No, no, don’t feel sorry for me. This time it’s for real. Why, you ask? Because of Mr. Karaoke (who will now be referred to as West Side Story. If you don’t know why then you aren’t paying enough attention).

Yesterday I received this text message from him:

“So am I waiting to hear from you or are you waiting to hear from me as to seeing each other again? Or are you hoping I’ll forget? *smirk*”

AGAIN, what grown man writes *smirk* in a text message?!? And for the record, I was sort of hoping that he would forget. I’m not any better at giving rejection than I am at receiving it.

I responded that due to my current circumstances and with so much on my mind I had actually just forgotten. Which was totally true.

To make a long story short and to keep this post from turning into a woe is me story I’ll keep it brief. A few nights ago my roommate gave me notice of him moving out in February via text message at 1am. No explanation. Nothing. What pisses me off is that after busting my ass to keep my apartment while unemployed it now looks like my fathers couch is beckoning to me once more. Also, I’ve found that two months is about as long as one can go before Time Warner Cable expects you to pay. Go figure.

W.S.S. apologized for being pushy (aww, low confidence…attractive) and offered to make me dinner at my place (redeeming some points by using food). But why at my place? Well, because he lives with his grandmother. My first thought? What grown man lives with g-ma? Second thought? I’m totally going to hell because he’s helping take care of the old bat and I just made fun of him.

Then he actually sent me a picture of his sausage with a note saying he was trying to entice me and make me smile. And I don’t mean his “saaauuusage” either. He actually sent me a picture of the sausage he was cooking. How endearing yet *lame*. What am I supposed to do with this guy? He’s too fucking adorable to turn down. I responded that despite that being the best “sausage” picture I have yet to receive from any man I was going to have to pass.

His response:

“So long as you don’t have a sausage picture of your own to show ME! That would be disappointing. Might have to question my sexuality! *frightened*”

OH. MY. GOD! Somehow, considering that I’m already questioning his sexuality something tells me he might not be so disappointed if I whipped out a sausage of my own. Also, what’s up with the screenplay text messages? Really?!?

I also received these texts from him:

“I never admitted how brutally attractive you were to me, did I? Wouldn’t want to give away company secrets. Ya know?”

ME: Thanks

“I am willing to admit to a new found weakness for sultry blondes with soft hips, smooth skin and a kiss to go to confession for :-)”

I’m in trouble. He’s so going to fall in love with me. I have to admit though, he is sort of growing on me but in a gay best friend sort of way. He deserves a much nicer lady than what I have to offer. I’m just a chain smoking, vodka drinking, sport fucking blonde with money problems. I would break him like a toothpick and I just don’t have the heart to be mean to such a nice guy.

Ladies…who wants to take him off my hands? Although, explaining how you got his number after reading my blog calling him West Side Story might be a little awkward and the end to our friendship.

P.S. I did meet up with the thug from my Shallow post this past Monday. Totally HOT! And remarkably sweet and respectful too. Although, not so sweet that I want to vomit. Stay tuned for that post…

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5 Comments

  1. brewers_rule
    November 20, 18:52 Reply
    WSS reminds me of the highly disturbing trend of guys wanting to pick out wedding dresses w/their fiances (the wife watches various TLC wedding shows...my life). Maybe South Park was right and the goal 4 men IS to get as gay as possible while claiming you still like girls? Thank God I'll never succumb to that Kool-Aid trend but I still feel sorry for single women that have to deal w/it like you do.
  2. Jeni
    November 20, 19:48 Reply
    Haha. I could not handle the text messages with *smirk* either. We are evil, evil women.
  3. JupaMan
    November 20, 20:16 Reply
    OMG WOMAN!!!!!! You are evil, selfish, self-centered and all of the above mentioned, but damn I love you. Does that make you want to vomit?? <br />The poor guy is taking care of grandma, but that does put a dampening on the love life.<br />Now the sausage thing. I never thought a normal person would actually use that to entice a woman into sex. That's a first. As much as I love food, ii wouldn't think of of using that to get laid. <br />Yeah. I totally see him falling in love with you, but then again, who wouldn't?

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