Happy Anniversary to Me (Part Deux)
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Happy Anniversary to Me (Part Deux)

Two Years, Bitches! That’s me…all class.

Two years to the day
Was born Miss Melisa Mae.

Please hold your applause
And take a moment to pause.

To reflect on what’s been
And gotten under my skin.

I’ll try to be quick
But I’m a wordy ass chick.

There was the dry humping Italian
And the overeager Stallion.

A man with one nut
And men trying to poke me in the butt.

There were men with buns in the oven
Still looking for a little lovin.

Plenty of guys who couldn’t spell
And a newlywed from hell.

My teacher from ninth grade
Who was just trying to get laid.

There was the stripping RN
And more than one Nigerian.

There was a fireman or two
And lots of men with no clue.

A 10 minute date
And a redhead overweight.

A man wearing gold lamé
And one I thought was gay.

There was the guy that couldn’t talk
Until he pulled out his cock.

Horrible texts
And smothering sex.

A married swinger
Who was Chris Penn’s dead ringer.

The cat loving loser
The Tokyo drift cruiser.

Hot Bicep Guy
And lots of pictures of Peni.

Now that’s a lot of damn dating
But I certainly ain’t hating.

Congratulations to me
Because I’m a fucking bad ass

(That’s as close to poetry as I come.  Don’t worry, I won’t be quitting my day job anytime soon)

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2 Comments

  1. Damian
    August 17, 14:34 Reply
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