Happy Anniversary to Me (Part Deux)
1872 Views

Happy Anniversary to Me (Part Deux)

Two Years, Bitches! That’s me…all class.

Two years to the day
Was born Miss Melisa Mae.

Please hold your applause
And take a moment to pause.

To reflect on what’s been
And gotten under my skin.

I’ll try to be quick
But I’m a wordy ass chick.

There was the dry humping Italian
And the overeager Stallion.

A man with one nut
And men trying to poke me in the butt.

There were men with buns in the oven
Still looking for a little lovin.

Plenty of guys who couldn’t spell
And a newlywed from hell.

My teacher from ninth grade
Who was just trying to get laid.

There was the stripping RN
And more than one Nigerian.

There was a fireman or two
And lots of men with no clue.

A 10 minute date
And a redhead overweight.

A man wearing gold lamé
And one I thought was gay.

There was the guy that couldn’t talk
Until he pulled out his cock.

Horrible texts
And smothering sex.

A married swinger
Who was Chris Penn’s dead ringer.

The cat loving loser
The Tokyo drift cruiser.

Hot Bicep Guy
And lots of pictures of Peni.

Now that’s a lot of damn dating
But I certainly ain’t hating.

Congratulations to me
Because I’m a fucking bad ass

(That’s as close to poetry as I come.  Don’t worry, I won’t be quitting my day job anytime soon)

About author

You might also like

Craigslist Gone Wrong

When I came to my sister with the latest batch of Craigslist gems, I figured we would both get a good laugh and be on our merry ways.  She didn’t

Hell Week Isn’t Just For The Military

I’ve come to the conclusion that I am never, ever, EVER moving again. Ever. EVER! When am I moving again? Never. Good, just so we are clear. What is it

The Proposal

Before I begin, let me apologize for this post being so disjointed.  It was difficult for me to figure out how to cram so much bullshit into one entry 😉

2 Comments

  1. Damian
    August 17, 14:34 Reply
    Wow! Just..... Wow. ;) <span class="cluv">Damian recently posted..<a class="52ac865886 6956" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.jupaman.com/2011/08/14/twitter-weekly-updates-for-2011-08-14/">Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-08-14</a></span>

Leave a Reply

Click here to cancel reply.

CommentLuv badge