I Want It My Way, Right Away (Sexual Tension in an Age of Instant Gratification)
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I Want It My Way, Right Away (Sexual Tension in an Age of Instant Gratification)

As we enter The Summer of Sex, the Insomnia Club’s May topic is all about sexual tension in the age of instant gratification and sexual bombardment.

When I was five years old, while on a camping trip with a gazillion of my closest family members, myself and a cousin of the same age decided it would be a good idea to take one of the Honda ATC’s out for a ride.  In a family as large as ours, it wasn’t that big of a deal to see two five year olds operating a motor vehicle.  Paranoia and over protectiveness had gone out the window with the older siblings.

Taking the ATC deep into the woods, fearing nothing, (I) my cousin ran us into some thick brush ensuring that nothing short of an adult would be able to dislodge the heap of metal from the roots and branches of our natural nemesis.  At the time, it seemed a good idea for my cousin to run back to base camp seeking help while I patiently stayed behind with the vehicle.  Just in case someone decided to try and steal our beloved All Terrain Cycle they would surely be no match for me.

Taking stock of the situation, I surveyed the ATC, looking for anything to give me just enough leverage to remedy the situation myself.  I was five, after all.  Practically an adult and old enough to handle such sticky situations on my own.

Then I saw it.  Sticking right out of the back.  Why, it was a metal pipe!  Tucked neatly between the two rear tires.  As if it had been put there for just such an emergency.  With my right hand, I quickly grabbed the metal pipe knowing that if I could just get this thing removed from the feisty bush my ATC privileges would remain intact.

It wasn’t the smell of burning flesh that bothered me as much as the searing pain that suddenly shot through my entire hand.  I had been tricked!  That metal pipe was not an emergency brush dislodger!  It was, as I would come to find out shortly, the exhaust pipe.  How the fuck was I supposed to know?  I was just a little kid (not to be confused with the mature adult I was 60 seconds before grabbing the equivalent of a curling iron).

What does any of this have to do with sexual tension?  Nothing really, except to show my propensity to grab at protruding phallic-like objects without even the slightest bit of reluctance or hesitation.

28 years later nothing has changed really.  I still grab at phallic-like objects with reckless abandon.  I’m a victim of the instant gratification age.  For me, sexual tension lasts only as long as it takes for me to get your pants off.

Sexual tension drives me batty.  Patience has never been one of my virtues.  The desire to conquer impedes my concentration and I’m unable to focus until I have acquired that which I’ve deemed necessary for my immediate satisfaction.  I like things my way, right away and just like when I was five, I’ve gotten burned.  Yet, on the flipside, I’ve also had one hell of a good time playing with fire.

My lack of self discipline has in many ways proved to be exciting and fruitless all at the same time.  For me, impatience breeds lack of commitment.  When I was five, had I waited for help to arrive when we got the ATC stuck, I wouldn’t have had to sit for 12 hours in the backseat of my folks Dodge Challenger with my hand in a fishbowl full of ice.  As an adult, had I employed some, any, variation of moderation I might not be the perpetual single girl whose sexuality gets questioned at every family gathering simply because I don’t have a significant other and three rug rats hanging from my leg.

However, until I learn any better, I will probably continue to reach for that exhaust pipe without fear that it may just be a piece of 500 degree metal.  I will continue to dive headlong into the unknown and I will continue to enjoy every second of it.  Sexual tension be damned.  I want an oompa loompa and I want it now!

As brilliantly stated by Mr. Oscar Wilde – “The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it…I can resist everything but temptation”

This was the fourth post for the Insomnia Club. If you don’t know what it’s all about check it out here. This is a fun project that enjoys contributions from a variety of bloggers, from different backgrounds. This month’s topic is “Sexual tension in the age of instant gratification and sexual bombardment.” I encourage you to check out the posts on this topic from my other partners in crime, in the Insomnia Club. Links to their sites are below;

The Urban Dater

F*cking in Brooklyn

Jess Downey — Not What I Ordered

Simone Grant

The Book of Love Was Written By A Sadist

Thank You For Your Sex

Feisty Woman

Met Another Frog

KB in NYC

How Very Lucky To Be A Girl

Miss Taylor Cast

Women Are From Mars

Man shopping in Paris

Totally Tyler

AV Flox

Single Much

Confronting Love

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14 Comments

  1. Marrie
    May 17, 10:44 Reply
    Just like you, I'm an instant gratification girl.No mistaking it and no apologies. I look at my desire to succumb to desire as a time saving mechanism. Just because we reach for the tailpipe without inhibition, doesn't make a relationship doomed. I think it would have been doomed whether we restrained ourselves or not. We just shortened the time wasted on a potential candidate by several weeks...and had fun in the process! "The gratification comes in the doing, not in the results." ~James Dean <span class="cluv">Marrie recently posted..<a class="9c20e229df 3803" rel="nofollow" href="http://dirtyinpublic.com/index.php/423/women-who-roar-feminism-sexism-resentment-relationship/">Women Who Roar- Feminism- Sexism and Resentment in a Relationship</a></span>
    • NikkiB
      May 18, 10:50 Reply
      Um. Yes. What Marrie said. <span class="cluv">NikkiB recently posted..<a class="faee3df23a 3818" rel="nofollow" href="http://womenarefrommars.wordpress.com/2011/05/18/shock-value/">Shock value</a></span>
  2. lifebeginsat30ty
    May 17, 12:53 Reply
    Eh, your just looking for that tail-pipe that doesn't burn the shit out of you ;) I'm not very good at delayed gratification and all of that either. They say abstinance makes the heart grow fonder (or something like that) but I just think it makes me a bit of a grump!
    • missmelisamae
      May 17, 14:14 Reply
      Oh my God, having to wait makes me as feisty and grumpy as a hungry male.
  3. Christa
    May 17, 12:58 Reply
    Awesome post! Just started following you on Twitter and glad to know I am not the only one who has these type of random experiences. I too am at the age of instant gratification and I think my life has turned into a fight between myself and universe. I am fighting for gratification, it is forcing me to learn patience...though I won't ever like being patient, I may have to give into it...I haven't seemed to be able to get around the power of the universe thus far. <span class="cluv">Christa recently posted..<a class="469e3756d9 3806" rel="nofollow" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ConfessionsOfAGirl/~3/i63-O0lAVR0/day-in-review-its-end-of-world-and-i.html">Day in Review – It’s the End of the World and I Feel Fine</a></span>
    • missmelisamae
      May 17, 14:13 Reply
      At some point I too will have to learn patience. In the meantime, however, I'm going to have a blast being impatient. Btw, what's your Twitter handle? I want to make sure I'm following back!
  4. Man-shopper
    May 18, 07:05 Reply
    I whole heartedly agree with your approach. My track record with it may not be the best, but it's so hard to change my stripes! Grabbing for that tailpipe was partly how I ended up as an expat for 5 years, and I have only a few regrets. I don't regret grabbing the tailpipe, but I kind of wish that the tailpipe in question wasn't less of a dickwad... <span class="cluv">Man-shopper recently posted..<a class="b946a69c6e 3815" rel="nofollow" href="http://manshopping.wordpress.com/2011/05/18/ms-american-whore/">Ms American Whore</a></span>
    • Man-shopper
      May 18, 07:06 Reply
      *was less of a dickwad. Stupid typo changed the whole meaning. I want to reiterate what an assclown this guy was in the end. <span class="cluv">Man-shopper recently posted..<a class="a27fd00616 3816" rel="nofollow" href="http://manshopping.wordpress.com/2011/05/18/ms-american-whore/">Ms American Whore</a></span>
    • missmelisamae
      May 19, 09:30 Reply
      I try not to regret anything. I'd much rather tell myself that the decisions I've made in the past are what made me the person I am today and blah, blah, blah. Or something like that.
  5. Jackie Summers
    May 19, 08:47 Reply
    Wow. SO MANY things in nature and architecture are shaped liked phallus. Fortunately few of them burn when you grab them, although some of them might make it burn when you pee. oxo JFB <span class="cluv">Jackie Summers recently posted..<a class="dda5e762da 3831" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.jackfrombkln.com/the-cube/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-cube">The Cube</a></span>

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