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Profile of the Week (POTW): Meet RSLA…

Breathe & Relax

What you see is what you getStats:  40 years old, 5’8”, athletic, Caucasian with mixed hair color, non smoking, non religious Capricorn.  Not single/not looking.  I repeat NOT single/NOT looking.

Profession:  Something fun.

Seeking:  A woman to “hang out” with.  Also noted: RSLA isn’t seeking a relation or any kind of commitment.

About Me:  Life has many surprises. I just need 1.
Curious about this site. Interested in meeting 1 special friend. Someone to share long sweet kisses with and maybe more when time is right.

 

 

 

You Are:
Understanding
Responsible & Very Discreet (Always)
Sweet
Kind
Caring
Affectionate
Laid Back
Great kisser
Thin, Fit, Athletic
Extremely Clean inside & out
Great “BUTT” to share & enjoy
Not interested in relationships at all. NO Drama, NO Games !

Do not reply if you are looking for something different

 

 

I have always wanted someone to cook for me while I work around you

Wow, where do I start?  And to think that this man is actually NOT single.  What a catch.  I often wonder about the women that cohabitate with men like this.  I wonder even more about the women that would even respond to such bullshit knowing that this guy is attached.  Isn’t seeking a “sweet, kind and caring” home wrecker an oxymoron?

Believe it or not, but my biggest problem with this guy is not that he’s already attached. In this day and age there have come to be many different definitions to the word “relationship”.  My biggest issue is that by looking for someone “very discreet (Always) he’s implying that he’s doing it behind his significant other’s back.  This is the problem I have.

By “NO Drama, NO Games!” he’s really saying that he won’t be giving you his phone number but instead will send you naughty emails and cock pics through his ambiguously named Gmail account.

I have no idea what he means when he says “I have always wanted someone to cook for me while I work around you.”  What kind of work is he referring to?  Does his “work” involve watching sports or drinking beer while you slave over a hot stove?  Or will he try to screw you while you are scrambling his eggs?  Either way, doesn’t sound appetizing.

Notice his profile picture (this is the actual picture he posted online).  His caption reads “What you see is what you get.”  He couldn’t be more dead on if he tried.

This is my interpretation of Mr. RSLA’s profile:

Hi, I’m an asshole.  I’m cheating on my wife/girlfriend/goat and I’m looking for someone to get me off whenever I don’t feel like being a responsible man.  I don’t respect women and consider monogamy a concept invented by Hallmark and the Catholic Church.

Please be “Extremely Clean inside & out” so I don’t give the ol’ ball and chain the herp.  That would really piss her off and blow my cover as an international philanderer.

If you’re a thin, fit, athletic woman with low self esteem than hit me up because I’d l love to pound you in the ass.  My wife doesn’t understand my needs and won’t let me get in there unless it’s our anniversary.

Sincerely,

Mr. Sleazy

Am I missing anything?

About author

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18 Comments

  1. DMN
    December 02, 14:08 Reply
    My two cents. I think it's interesting that, rather than simply passing on this guy who is clearly not interested in the same thing you say you're interested in, you've chosen instead to write a blog analyzing him to say he's a bad guy. If you were honest with yourself, you'd realize that you are obviously intrigued by him -- especially that picture, and, my guess is that you're secretly annoyed that he's not available to YOU for a relationship.
    • missmelisamae
      December 02, 17:31 Reply
      Yes, I'm sure that's it. I'm just jealous because I'm not capable of obtaining this good for nothing liar. Good call. My problem is not so much that he's attached. There are open relationships all over the place. That's a decision where both parties clearly know where the boundaries are and agree to them. My problem is that obviously he is not in an open relationship thereby being deceitful. If you want to chalk up the fact that I happen to value trust and honesty in a relationship as being bitter and jealous than so be it.
    • singlegirlie
      December 02, 17:50 Reply
      I think it's more like we're intrigued that some idiot has the audacity to post something like this. It's like when people watch Jersey Shore. They're fascinated at the massive train wreck these people are and like to laugh at them, but we sure as hell don't want to fuck them. <span class="cluv">singlegirlie recently posted..<a class="8229a3a894 561" rel="nofollow" href="http://singlegirlblogging.wordpress.com/2010/11/22/to-skirt-a-predator/">To Skirt a Predator</a></span>
  2. Nicole
    December 02, 17:28 Reply
    WHO ARE THESE ASSHOLES?!! I can't believe how many of them you seem to stumble upon. Do you think they write this crap and actually think someone will read it without laughing? Also, I'm pretty sure that the woman he's looking for doesn't exist.
    • missmelisamae
      December 02, 18:29 Reply
      Amazing, isn't it? This isn't the first I'm come across and it most certainly won't be the last. As repulsive as I find it, at least I can use it for entertainment purposes, right?
  3. singlegirlie
    December 02, 17:50 Reply
    Your interpretation is spot-on. Love it! <span class="cluv">singlegirlie recently posted..<a class="62edc0d4aa 562" rel="nofollow" href="http://singlegirlblogging.wordpress.com/2010/11/22/to-skirt-a-predator/">To Skirt a Predator</a></span>
  4. Asa
    December 02, 18:21 Reply
    He's exposed in one sense of the word...and now in many others, after your killer take. Love your entries, MM!!! xo
  5. girltrueheart
    December 03, 01:29 Reply
    You're definitely not missing a beat at all on this guy. Here's what cracks me up about this profile... He wants: "Understanding, Responsible, Sweet, Kind, Caring, Affectionate, Laid Back..." *ahem* Does he resemble ANY of these traits he so desires in his fuck buddy? And are these things you should actually want in a fuck buddy? What he wants is the GirlFriendExperience without the girlfriend hassles. I think that's called a prostitute, except he's probably too cheap to pay for it. The more ridiculous these profiles are online, the more women will become bitter, and more of them will just start to give up dating completely. And that's a sad thought. <span class="cluv">girltrueheart recently posted..<a class="bde91e3d6c 567" rel="nofollow" href="http://twitter.com/girltrueheart/statuses/10503052809207808">girltrueheart- The best revenge is for the Cavs to win RT @redsox1234- This is the only NBA game Ill watch this season TURN IT UP- Cleveland!</a></span>
    • missmelisamae
      December 03, 18:23 Reply
      I totally agree with you. Good call on the GirlFriendExperience! So true!
  6. Holly B
    December 03, 04:34 Reply
    Yeah , that pass was a good call. <span class="cluv">Holly B recently posted..<a class="adec357ce5 568" rel="nofollow" href="http://midwesternmamah.blogspot.com/2010/12/16-and-pregnant-these-hos-make-me.html">16 And Pregnant - These Hos Make Me Stabby</a></span>
  7. Mike Masters
    December 04, 04:21 Reply
    Happy birthday, hater... <span class="cluv">Mike Masters recently posted..<a class="2fa0cad1dc 571" rel="nofollow" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/mikethemasterdater/~3/ufXEQrZ2us4/">How to have the perfect relationship – Trust me- it aint easy…</a></span>
    • missmelisamae
      December 04, 04:43 Reply
      Thanks, dorkasaurus... (with age does not necessarily come maturity)
  8. Julie
    December 06, 16:21 Reply
    Dear Universe: Thank you so much for *finally* taking me out of the dating pool. That five years between divorce and new love was hell, complete with a few bites from the sharks that swim on the land.... Please let my blogging buddy Melisa get as lucky as I did this year. Love, Julie
    • missmelisamae
      December 06, 20:22 Reply
      Love your letter! I'll let you know if Universe responds :)
  9. information technology
    December 15, 06:11 Reply
    It’s really a nice and helpful piece of information. I’m glad that you shared this helpful info with us. Please keep us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.

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