Swedish Public Masturbation
6928 Views

Swedish Public Masturbation

Whilst scouring the internets for cat memes and Miley Cyrus videos I discovered yet another reason to travel abroad. Amsterdam has their Red-Light District and now Sweden allows public masturbation (just so long as it’s not directed at any particular person). Of course.

Sweden Allows Public Masturbation

I don’t recommend googling “old man masturbating on a park bench.” It’s disturbing.

I don’t recommend googling “old man masturbating on a park bench.” It’s disturbing.

To paraphrase an article I read in TIME, some 65 year old man pulled out his wang and spanked the monkey while chillin’ on a beach in Stockholm. When charged with sexual assault he was acquitted because he didn’t make eye contact with anyone. One has to wonder, had it been grandma rubbing one out would she have “gotten off” so easily?

Other rad things about Sweden:

– Sweden is one of the homelands of the Germanic ethnicity and culture. The Vikings trace their origin back to Sweden (as well as Norway and Denmark). Vikings!

– The world-famous discount furniture chain IKEA was founded in Sweden in 1943. Without which, I’d be sitting on an egg crate and would have ZERO dishes.

– All employees (including graduate students) get 5 weeks of paid vacation a year. What’s not love about that? I’m lucky if I get 5 days a year.

– All employers (as of 2004) are required to provide free massage. Those Swedes sure do like to use their hands.

– St. Lucia is a nationally celebrated saint, and despite the fact that she is a saint because she tore out her own eyes to avoid being seduced by a man, little children dress up like her every winter. In other words, children dress up like that Japanese girl in Hostel.

Moral of the story is this; if you absolutely feel the need to orgasm while taking a stroll through the park, just close your eyes. You wouldn’t want anyone thinking your erotic bliss was due to them. Because that would be bad.

About author

You might also like

New York

I was always one of those “stop making New York a character in your story!” type of people. But alas, here I am and I’m about to make New York

The Sex Files

For those of you living under a rock, or those who simply don’t care (myself included), Kim Kardashian and Kanye West tied the knot in what is undoubtedly the most

A Birthday To Remember

It was my birthday, my twenty second birthday to be exact. I had spent that entire college semester figuring out how I would manage to have a threesome before I

4 Comments

  1. Marrie
    October 08, 10:48 Reply
    My bags are packed...when we leavin'? <span class="cluv">Marrie recently posted..<a class="9a0be516b4 18453" rel="nofollow" href="http://dirtyinpublic.com/index.php/2280/needs-of-men/">The Needs of Men: As simple as 1,2,3, stroke?</a></span>
  2. singlegirlie
    October 08, 13:41 Reply
    Hot damn! Packing my bags as we speak. <span class="cluv">singlegirlie recently posted..<a class="43b9d1e332 18456" rel="nofollow" href="http://singlegirlblogging.com/2013/08/20/weird-sex-toys-that-will-never-see-my-junk/">Weird Sex Toys That Will Never See My Junk</a></span>

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge