Teen Sex, Curiosity & Technology

Teen Sex, Curiosity & Technology

“I want 2 lick every inch of your body. I long to have u inside me.” SEND.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that my mother now thought I wanted to lick her body.  I’d like to think that my mother and I have a fairly close relationship but not THAT close.  This is what happens when you are trying to send a dirty text message to someone named Mark and you accidentally send it to Mom instead.  While mortifying as this may have been, after I explained to my mother that I thought we were better off as friends we had a good laugh and never mentioned it again.

But what if I were 13 and the text recipient had not a family member but a classmate with an itch to share such a provocative message?  This is exactly what happened recently in Washington State.

When I was 13 (a mere few months ago) I didn’t have a cell phone.  Our family had one computer the size of a dinosaur and it was DOS.  Rumors were spread the old fashioned way: by phone (landline, remember those?) or having to wait until you were actually at school.  Now days, shit can spread like wildfire and before the alarm has reached your little ears waking you from your slumber the whole school may already be aware that you are a B-cup and that you have a crush on Tyler, the local skateboard punk.

I’m not going to go into a tirade about the need to feel accepted and self-esteem issues being the reason for the “sexting” phenomenon.  At 13, I was horny as hell and had daydreamed about being hosed down while wearing a white t-shirt on the top of every substitute teacher’s car.  I wasn’t quite sure what all sex entailed but I knew that I wanted to have it.  Especially with Mr. Brandon.  I never made this public knowledge and I sure as hell never would have taken a naked picture of myself to share but the thoughts were still inside my head.  Should I be labeled a whore or a slut simply because I had a healthy sexual libido?  Of course not.  Had I been able to peek inside the mind of every fellow student I have no doubt that I would not have been alone in wanting to gyrate atop of Mr. Brandon’s white Mazda Miata.

But here is the part of the issue that most adolescents fail to consider.  They can actually be arrested.  And worse yet, something that they may consider as benign can have them spending up to two years in a Group home away from family and friends and dodging rocks from other students because they have now been labeled a sexual predator.  I have worked at such a facility and their hierarchy is no different than that of a prison facility.

Moral of the story:  1) Margarite was not a whore or a slut.  She did something stupid.  She made a mistake and we all make them.  2)  Think before you text.  Regardless of age.  Or you may end up telling your mother more than you had intended.

This was the third post for the Insomnia Club. If you don’t know what it’s all about check it out here. This is a fun project that enjoys contributions from a variety of bloggers, from different backgrounds. This month’s topic is “Teens & Sexting.” I encourage you to check out the posts on this topic from my other partners in crime, in the Insomnia Club. Links to their sites are below;

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  1. Marrie
    April 12, 10:43 Reply
    First off, great article! Second, you've brought a good point. Texting, social networking sites, and email now play a role in our society's sex life. To ignore it is naive. All forms of sex come with responsibility and perhaps parents/caregivers should consider including these forms of media (the good, bad, and the ugly) in one of their "birds and bees" discussions with their children.
    • missmelisamae
      April 12, 10:48 Reply
      I couldn't agree more. Knowledge is power and if we (teenagers included) are going to have access to such things then we'd better know how to use them and the ramifications of doing so.
  2. Jackie Summers
    April 12, 10:47 Reply
    I'm sure Mom understood you're just not her "type." Hilarious and poignant at the same time, in your indomitable style. oxo JFB <span class="cluv">Jackie Summers recently posted..<a class="d27e116495 2906" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.jackfrombkln.com/the-consensus-of-flies-a-rant/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-consensus-of-flies-a-rant">The Consensus of Flies- A Rant</a></span>
  3. Jessica
    April 12, 11:08 Reply
    I have totally almost made the accidentally sext to people it was not mean't for. Try dating a guy with the same name as your brother - that's why nicknames were invented. I think your moral of the story totally sums it up. The word slut is thrown around WAY too easily and people are human, even when they are 13. Love the post!
    • missmelisamae
      April 12, 11:16 Reply
      Thanks! Although I did learn one very important lesson from my sexting mom fiasco...I ALWAYS double check who I'm about to send something to before hitting the SEND button. Unless I'm drinking, of course.
  4. singlegirlie
    April 12, 12:05 Reply
    Wow, I read that story about Margarite and was mortified. This is what kids get to deal with these days. And they're way too young to know better. Hopefully this story will at least be a lesson to them. Awful. I remember when I was in junior high a guy taped a picture of his dick to my friend's window. She showed everyone and told everyone who it was. But there was no proof - it was just a Polaroid of an anonymous cock. With sexting your name and number are permanently attached. I once sent a picture of my ass to a guy I was dating. He turned out to be a jerk. We don't talk anymore, but he still has a pic of my ass that I'll never get back. I won't do that again. <span class="cluv">singlegirlie recently posted..<a class="2ba5f9ab4b 2913" rel="nofollow" href="http://singlegirlblogging.com/2011/04/07/london-calling/">London Calling</a></span>
    • missmelisamae
      April 12, 12:30 Reply
      Frightening how hindsight is 20/20. I'm sure there are a few pictures of me lying around that I would be mortified if made public. Lesson learned!
  5. Carlo Alcos
    April 12, 13:53 Reply
    Flashbacks of Whitesnake and Tawny Kitaen! Great read. You summed it up nicely and simply. Sometimes we tend to overcomplicate things. <span class="cluv">Carlo Alcos recently posted..<a class="f76f9c8c45 2917" rel="nofollow" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ConfrontingLove/~3/iiiDhXBVt4o/">The Tale of the 13-Year-Old Slut</a></span>
    • missmelisamae
      April 14, 11:56 Reply
      I agree. And so glad somebody got the Whitesnake reference. Who, over the age of 27, didn't want to be her? Or at least the Jag she was gyrating on ;)
  6. Roxanne
    April 12, 15:33 Reply
    Great post. I've lectured on social media and employment and the same goes for teens.
    • missmelisamae
      April 14, 11:55 Reply
      If they want to be treated like grown-ups then they must act like them. Sadly, most don't realize that what they do today can affect them tomorrow. But, I was the same way and people make mistakes. The trick is to learn from them and move on.
  7. Think Before You Send
    April 13, 00:01 Reply
    [...] the 13 Year-​​Old Slut by Con­fronting Love Sex­ting and the Mean Girl v.2.o by Jess Downey When Teenagers and Sex­ual Curios­ity Col­lide with Tech­nol­ogy by Miss Melisa Mae /* Book­mark on Delicious Digg this post Rec­om­mend on Facebook share via Reddit Share [...]
  8. Charlotte
    April 14, 08:38 Reply
    Great post and a poignant article. It's almost hard to fathom all the extra societal pressures and things that kids have to deal with as a result of social media. In a way, I'm glad I grew up without Twitter, Facebook, texting, and sexting. I don't know that I would have made it given those awkward teen years I went through (shudder). <span class="cluv">Charlotte recently posted..<a class="8ebabd186d 2977" rel="nofollow" href="http://mypixieblog.com/2011/04/12/because-as-they-say-the-world-is-my-oyster/">because- as they say- the world is my oyster</a></span>
    • missmelisamae
      April 14, 11:53 Reply
      I'm with you, I'm SO glad we didn't have such a social media force growing up. Being a teenager was bad enough.
  9. Zia Zitella
    April 29, 13:48 Reply
    With the collection of men in my phone and how huge my family is, I'm petrified of sending something raunchy to one of my cousins. Making for very uncomfortable future family gatherings. I steer clear of sexting if I can.
  10. Lennie Ross
    May 05, 13:22 Reply
    I don't think people fully realize how open and public our society is these days. Even nude snaps with a mate can end up all over the web if that relationship heads south, which it often does in today's society. Text and take pictures with care, they're more than likely to be shared! Lennie Ross http://lennierosswrites.com <span class="cluv">Lennie Ross recently posted..<a class="d762626f63 3495" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.lennierosswrites.com/lennie-writes/2011/5/4/7-worst-dating-profile-lines-for-men.html">7 Worst Dating Profile Lines For Men</a></span>
    • missmelisamae
      May 11, 08:46 Reply
      Thinking ahead to consequences of your actions has never been more important than it is now in this day and age. With the prevalence of the internet nothing is private anymore.

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